Today, a question from one of you. Gig reader Kurt writes:

“I’ve been thinking about switching jobs and finding something that will provide better benefits and salary for me and my new wife. But I was typing up a new resume and realized that — at 28 — I have five jobs that are one year apiece. How can I spin that in an interview as a positive? Can I just tell the truth and say that I’m not finding what I need, or do you think that might be a kiss of death?”

Well, Kurt, you’re definitely not alone. And while the job hunt is always stressful — no matter who you are and how great your resume might be — don’t let this particular issue keep you up at night. Because if the recruiters I talk to are any indication, your job-hopping isn’t as unusual as you might think. With more and more of us waiting to settle down and choosing “non-traditional” career paths — such as hostel-hopping through Europe or heading back to Mom and Dad’s while we write the great American novel — we’re less and less likely to stay in a bad job just because we need the money or don’t have other options.

Which is why you’ll hear some HR people say that they can’t get young employees to stay. But that’s actually a good thing for you. Because as more qualified, professional candidates come in with resumes that look like yours, those doing the hiring have been forced to focus less on job tenure and more on real skills and relevant experience.

But what does this actually mean? As discussed in a recent post, “Job-hopping Gen Yers aren’t disloyal, they’re smart,” many twentysomethings are simply opting for opportunities over loyalty. That was certainly the case for me: I came to Fortune at the age of 24, and it was already my fourth job out of school. Did that mean that I was a giant flake without any sense of purpose or commitment? Not really. Instead, it played as evidence of my risk-taking nature and willingness to follow the best gigs, managers, and experiences (or so my bosses tell me). And, ultimately, that made me a more attractive hire for companies that were looking for a person with a specific skillset and perspective, rather than someone they could develop all the way to retirement.

To be fair, I should point out that, while HR folks often say that we’re harder to keep than ever, the numbers don’t necessarily bear out our fickleness: In 2006, the median tenure for workers ages 25 to 34 was 2.9 years, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And more than 20 years ago, in 1983, it was…3 years. Not exactly a dramatic drop. (And the same is generally true of younger workers: For those ages 20 to 24, the median tenure was 1.3 years in 2006, and 1.5 years in 1983.)

While there are economic fluctuations from decade to decade that caused some peaks and valleys, it’s possible that this relatively constant tenure number doesn’t yet capture the changing attitudes of young professionals. And one BLS survey found that the youngest Boomers — those born between 1957 and 1964 — held an average of 10.2 jobs between the ages of 18 and 38, a number that will probably just keep going up. Regardless, the fact is that recruiters definitely think we’re more fickle — and they’re starting to forgive us for it.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we should bounce around just for fun. After all, the postscript to my four-jobs-by-24 story is that I’ve now been at Fortune almost four years. And as Gig reader Dan pointed out in his response to the job-hopping post, “those who stay with the same employer for longer tend to get good at what they do,” among other things.

Of course, there are perfectly good reasons to move on, especially if you find yourself an expert at stapling and copying, but not much else. So, Kurt, if you can demonstrate some logic to your career moves, you’ll be in good shape. And in your case, with a new spouse — and the new priorities that (I hope!) come with that — you’re often even more desirable than you would be otherwise because recruiters know that you’re looking for stability.

So when you head into that next big interview, think about how you can show you’re a high performer who’s both learned and contributed in each job — and it won’t matter much whether you stay for one year or 10. (Though it’s probably a good idea to try to stay at least a year, as it’s kind of hard to argue you made a real mark in a job you had for six months.) I’m all for being honest about your struggles to find the right fit, but be sure to make the interview about how you made the best of each role, not how bad they all were. And since you’ll want to reassure the new company that you won’t be headed out the door fast, come with some examples of what makes their organization such a good one for you.

Think of the interview as a chance to tell your story. For so many of us Yers, that’s what work is — an enormous, seamlessly-integrated part of our personal stories that’s even more central because we often don’t have the things that take precedence over work in older people’s lives, like families. So figure out how to frame your career story in terms of trajectory and lessons and goals, and don’t get hung up on the numbers.

If you believe it, they just might, too.

What about you guys? Are your resumes similar to Kurt’s, or are you through with job-hopping?

With December officially here, Monday marks the beginning of that most dangerous of times — holiday party season. For the geniuses among us, this will be the chance to show your best side — that witty, charming, well-dressed person you usually leave at home — and get a little work done at the same time. (What better place to do some low-key relationship-building than the company party?) But for everyone else, the holiday party can be a veritable minefield: What to wear, what if anything to drink, which folks to engage, which to avoid at all costs, and the list goes on. So we enlisted the help of a few experts to answer our questions and ensure that this year’s company party experience is your best — and, more importantly, not your last.

• Dress to impress (your boss, not that hot number at the club). The office party may be a party, but the key word for our purposes is “office.” Treat your holiday party like any other professional event, says Mary Crane, whom you may remember from 60 Minutes‘ Gen Y piece. The lobbyist turned assistant White House chef turned business coach — herself a Yer in spirit — cautions against outfits that are too revealing, obviously bedazzled, or play music. (That last one should be obvious, but Crane points to the gentlemen who insist on wearing those bow ties that play “Jingle Bells.” We’re laughing at you, guys.) If the party is directly after work, Crane recommends wearing the same clothes you wore to the office — lest one appear to be trying too hard — and says business casual is fine for off-site, weekend holiday events. And if formal attire is specified, gentlemen should go with a tux. As for ladies, they “may wear a formal-length or cocktail-length dress. They should, however, avoid any dress that will reveal more cleavage or leg than would normally be revealed at work (forget those thigh-high slits). And ladies, please do not pull ‘a Britney.’ At all times, wear appropriate undergarments.” Sage advice, to say the least.
• Drink like it’s dinner at Grandma’s, not happy hour. Get sloppy at the office party, and you’ll probably regret it on Monday, if not forever. And that’s the kind of infamy you don’t need. But we’ve had this talk before: “How much is too much at happy hour?”
• Do NOT show the love. A few drinks in, and everyone starts looking like your own personal Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. But resist the urge! As Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen, the authors of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding—and Managing—Romance on the Job, have a few thoughts on this one: Don’t use the holiday party to hit on a colleague, to make out with a colleague, or to go home with a colleague. The overarching theme is fairly simple: No romance at the office party. (Even those who’re already openly together should think twice about excess smishling; your coworkers don’t appreciate the gross-out.)
• Mix, mingle, and be interesting! The office party is a chance to talk to all the folks you don’t interact with every day, so take advantage of the opportunity. Crane encourages keeping the conversation light and social, and choosing topics you might conceivably discuss during office hours, such as holiday plans. And while the office party can be a good time to get to know a colleague you particularly respect, or to chat with your managers about what you’re working on, be sure to keep it casual. As the Office Mate authors put it, “Your boss is there to relax with colleagues, not fend off requests for raises or juicy assignments or—heaven forbid—advances from a subordinate who has decided the time is right to reveal a long-simmering crush.”
• Don’t close the place. Everyone agrees on this point. Nothing says lame like being the last one to leave.

And there you have it. We’ll hear more from Mary Crane in the coming weeks — about holiday gift-giving and cards — and in the meantime, check out her comments in yesterday’s New York Times story, “What Do I Do? Depends on What Week It Is.” It’s a fun Gen Y career story about oneweekjob.com specifically and Yers’ fickle career tendencies generally. Have a great weekend!

Here’s a question I’ve heard a lot more than I might’ve expected in my reporting on Gen Y. Let us know what you think, and thanks for all the well wishes. Have a great weekend!

*****

My boss is in her 30s, and I thought, since we’re close in age, that we’d get along well. Instead, she’s harder on me than my older bosses have been. What’s up with that?

When Boomer bosses complain about their Gen Y charges, says researcher Tamara Erickson, she just asks if they have any kids. “I see the difference immediately,” says the co-author of 2006’s Workforce Crisis. “But I haven’t found anything that effective for Gen Xers. When I try, I often run into a fairly grumpy reaction: ‘Well, I had to do it, and they ought to do it.’ They’re much more rigid about what they went through and not being sympathetic to Yers.”

It seems counterintuitive. These Xers are our big brothers and sisters, they taught us all our best bad behavior, we idolized them. While that appears to be true in retrospect, speaking as a big sister myself, I never miss an opportunity to remind my sibs how much they got away with because I’d paved the way. “When I was little…” has started many a bitter conversation. And we’re only talking about curfews and phone privileges.

So imagine how Xers in the workplace, where the stakes are so much higher, must feel. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are 48 million Xers to the almost 80 million of us and over 78 million Boomers. “People are paying attention to Yers to a degree that they didn’t necessarily pay to Xers, who are basically sandwiched between these huge globs of people in a very frustrating situation,” says Erickson. “They have annoying people like Tammy Erickson saying we have to retire retirement, so they’re not going to get rid of Boomers when they thought they would. And they’re already thinking that by the time Boomers actually leave, Yers will be perfectly positioned for those jobs. They’re very threatened by Yers.”

Which may help explain their sometimes less than loving attitude toward us in the office. But they needn’t depend on your empathy alone. For the Xers struggling to manage Yers — and their own emotions — more effectively, Erickson has a few thoughts. (That, incidentally, might be quite useful if e-mailed anonymously.)

Realize, she says, that Yers are very good at seeking out expertise, and they’re much more attuned to that than hierarchy, so Xers shouldn’t get offended if the Yers in their charge choose Boomers for mentors. “There’s great evidence of relationships forming between Boomers and Yers,” Erickson says. “Yers are sussing out who really knows how to do the job, and often it’s these old Boomers. But Xers can’t get caught up in that. They have to have the confidence to encourage Yers to team up with Boomers and make that an accepted part of the culture.”

And speaking of confidence, Xers also need to build some when it comes to technology. They’re very concerned about Yers’ greater technological sophistication, says Erickson, who points out that while Xers are perceived as very tech-savvy, some don’t feel as comfortable with technology as the perception indicates. Erickson recommends addressing that insecurity directly: “The Xers do really have to make sure that they’re experiencing the technology. A lot of what Yers know is not about them using the technology better, but about using it differently. Xers need to use the technology enough to develop some of that experiential knowledge.”

As an “older” Yer, even I didn’t quite understand what Facebook meant to my recent-grad sister and her friends until I finally started using it semi-regularly. Understanding how Yers use sites like this — that they aren’t just for e-mail or networking, but practically for conducting life — could go a long way to ease Xers’ technology anxiety. And insofar as that helps Xers to be more open and flexible in the way that they think about work, Erickson’s a fan: “It’d be great for Xer bosses to sit down with Yers and say, ‘Let’s think about all the time we spend scheduling meetings or doing conference calls. How much of that could we do with text messages or an internal Facebook site?’ Thinking like that will help Xers stay a step ahead.”

But whether your Xer boss is forward-thinking or as backward as Kris Kross, chances are that s/he’ll have a loopy episode sooner or later, so when it happens, don’t despair. Just remember where it’s coming from and try a little tenderness.

For August’s question, a desperate plea from a good thirtysomething friend who’s running into a somewhat twentysomething-induced situation:

“I’ve had this problem lately about what to do when someone who wants me to add them to my Facebook contacts and I don’t like them/respect them/want to be associated with them,” she writes. “I ignore their plea, but it could get awkward. I don’t really want to decline outright… Not as big of a deal on Facebook, which I don’t use anyway (okay, I don’t really use any social networking), but what about for LinkedIn, which is more of a professional network site. I don’t want to recommend or be linked to someone who might bring my whole professional reputation down a notch.”

I had to laugh when I received this because I’d been having the same issue recently myself and was starting to worry that I was either 1) an insufferable snob, or 2) not cut out for social networking. So I called on some people I thought might know how to solve our problem — namely, my 22-year-old sister, Lisa, and her recent-grad, extremely Facebook-savvy friends.

Evidently, our reader’s instinct — ignore, ignore, ignore — is right. According to my little Facebook focus group, the rule with most of these social networks is that a pending friend-request, even a prolonged one, can mean any number of things. True, it may mean that the other person just doesn’t like you and would rather chew gravel than be your “friend.” But it could also mean that he or she simply isn’t much of a social networker. Whereas, an outright denial leaves no such room for interpretation.

And while it might be awkward to run into someone who’s still “pending” on your friend list — Lisa, my own sister, actually called not long ago to ask why I hadn’t confirmed her as my Facebook friend yet — you can always say you just don’t really go in for the whole social networking thing. (In my case, it’s true; I didn’t even know Lisa was — horror of horrors — pending, but thankfully, she forgave me and a grave family crisis was averted.) Most normal people will get the hint, and if one or two pending people don’t and pester you about it, well, then at least you know you made the right call.

Because, as our reader rightly points out, befriending the wrong person — on Facebook, LinkedIn, or MySpace, as in life — can have dire consequences.

For July’s “Burning Question,” I thought we’d take a look at something that countless among you — from the 16’s to the 26’s, the artists to the accountants — have brought up: parents. You’ve read the stories, pieces with such encouraging titles as, “‘Helicopter’ parents hover when kids job hunt,” and, “Do ‘helicopter moms’ do more harm than good?” There’s even a Wikipedia entry for this new phenomenon.

But jokes aside, as anyone who read this recent New York Times story — about parents extending and overextending themselves to fund their adult children’s lives — can attest, they do it because they love. And that makes it a bit difficult for anyone — child, recruiter, or reporter — to dismiss them altogether. So if you can’t just say, “Mom and Dad, get a life,” what exactly can you do to keep your parents happy and your dignity intact?

To get some perspective, I turned to Dan Black, Ernst & Young’s Americas director of campus recruiting. Why Black? Aside from working with hundreds of Gen Yers and having young children himself, he’s also dealt with his fair share of parents. So with his expertise and my own first-hand experience, we put together a little five-step plan to recovering from that widespread Gen Y affliction, excessive parental involvement. (And before we go any further, let me just say that, obviously, this doesn’t apply to every parent or even to every Gen Yer, as many of us didn’t have parents who could be this involved. But we’re talking about the other set here, the ones who get maligned by the Wall Street Journal and whatnot.)

Step 1. Acknowledge the problem.
Some people will tell you that parents have always loved their kids, and while that’s true, there’s some pretty good anecdotal evidence that it’s gone a bit beyond that. Take the story Black told me when we first met while I was reporting our Gen Y story, which had a long section on parents, too.

Last summer, at E&Y’s intern conference, which brings about 2,000 interns together, someone called looking for the person in charge. “I pick up the phone and it’s an older gentleman who says, ‘Yes, I’m so-and-so’s dad. Who’s this’?” Black says, laughing as he pantomimes looking at a phone in confusion.

Turns out it was a concerned father whose daughter had failed to call the night before. Mom entered the fray, too, and though Black gave them every assurance that the company tracked all the interns — this was only day two of the four-day conference, and little so-and-so was probably in a seminar or team-building event somewhere — he eventually set out to find the girl. “You can only imagine the face on this poor young woman when I pulled her out of her activity and said, ‘Your parents called and they need you to call them back. They’re just worried about you.’ She was mortified.”

That might sound extreme, but I bet in a similar situation, it probably wouldn’t have taken my own mom long to give Black a ring. And even in circumstances less dire, Black says he hears from lots of parents who want to know what their recent grads should be doing to apply to E&Y — and even what colleges their high-schoolers should be considering so that they’ll one day be considered by E&Y.

It may be loving, but it’s not normal — or okay.

Today, our final new Friday feature — “Burning Question.” It’s a straightforward one: You ask, and I figure out a way to answer. And to start, I thought we’d tackle something lots of you have already written me about — drinking. But this is only the beginning, so ask yourself what you’ve always wanted to know, post it here or send it to me at nhira@fortunemail.com, and I’ll see what I can do. Have a great weekend!

—–

Carolyn from Kansas City, Mo., asks “how to act in a corporate culture that involves a lot of drinking — is it OK to get drunk with a firm partner? Everyone else is…”

Carolyn,

Based on my few years of corporate experience, it’s usually really not okay to get drunk with a firm partner, no matter what everyone else is doing. We all know it happens, but it’s better to be above reproach. If only because, as Elvin Yavuz put it in a comment recently, “people end up talking.” And since they’re going to do that anyway, you’d rather they only had your big promotion or awesome presentation to discuss, instead of your dance routine on the bar at the last happy hour.

But what do we know? To find out the real deal on after-work socializing, I went to the experts. No, not Dr. Phil. I headed to one of my crew’s favorite happy-hour spots, Midtown Manhattan’s Pazza Notte, to ask one of the lounge’s busy bartenders what he thought.

The best advice? If you’re at a drinks event for work, says bartending vet Abdelghani Elmardi, think, “Nice, smooth, and weak.” That way, not only will you be able to resist the temptation to show off your skillz when “I Will Survive” comes on, you’ll be lucid enough to say something winning and witty should the CEO happen to end up next to you.

With six years at Pazza under his belt, the 27-year-old Elmardi — who serves 250 to 300 of the bar’s signature (2-for-1 special) martinis a night to the well-heeled Midtown after-work crowd — has more than a few good war stories. Here, some of his bar-rules to live by:

• When in Rome… Much like most other workplace situations, take your cues from the leadership. If your boss is having a glass of wine or a beer, chances are you’ll be safe doing the same. Of course, if he or she’s a big old lush and downing them all night — or s/he’s drinking scotch on the rocks, and you know you’re lucky to survive a cosmo — just use your common sense. Don’t do (or drink!) anything you wouldn’t around your grandma. And rest assured that managers who get trashed aren’t likely to last too long — and even if they do, you probably won’t if you act like they do — so don’t follow their example.
• Beware of those bearing gifts. Coworkers more or less take care of each other at the bar, but even the coolest colleagues can sometimes be your undoing. Elmardi recalls one night when a group of young employees from a nearby company decided to “treat” a coworker: “I got the sense that he was a bit of a ’smart guy’ at the office,” he says, “so they brought him in, said, ‘the drinks are on us,’ and before you know it, he’d had 12 watermelon martinis. It was kind of funny for me that night, but I don’t think it was so funny for him the next day.”
• Don’t be a hero. Resist the urge to get competitive, no matter how well you think you can hold your liquor. And realize that the same people who’re cheering at your tenth shot tonight will probably spend the next morning laughing about how drunk you were. “Don’t try to act tough,” Elmardi says. “You’re really not fooling anyone at all.”
• If you can not drink, don’t. Gauge the vibe of the event. If it’s a celebration or venting session — i.e., the sort of gathering where having a drink with the group is a sign of solidarity or camaraderie — then have one. But if it’s a regular hangout session and you can get away with ordering a cranberry and ginger ale (one of my favorite alcoholic-looking drinks), by all means do.
• Mix, mingle, but remember — it’s not match.com. Happy hours and other after-work mixers can be a great way to meet people at different levels and build relationships (little “r”) with them. These events are not, however, the best place to build Relationships (big “R”) or worse yet, to have relations. If you’re having the urge to dance on a table, hit on a bartender or waitress, or bring someone of the opposite sex with you to the bathroom, it was time to go home 15 minutes ago.
• You’re always on the clock. Just because your boss seems too busy throwing back a few to look over your shoulder doesn’t mean s/he’s not still watching you. Elmardi points out that some companies hold recruiting events at the lounge just to observe candidates’ behavior there. So have fun, but represent yourself well. If the boss takes you and a couple coworkers out to drinks, don’t be the person who orders everything on the menu. And when there’s an open bar, ask if the company’s covering tips, too, and leave something if not; it’s a good way to show you’re a decent human being.
• DON’T GET DRUNK. If you’ve spent the last several minutes scoffing at all this buttoned-up behavior, does Elmardi have a cautionary tale for you! One year, at a company party, an employee got so drunk that the host of the party — who hadn’t been drinking at all — had to help her to the bathroom. En route, she tripped, dragged the host down with her, and the sober person ended up in the hospital with a broken arm. Don’t let that drunkard be you. And besides, you’ll have a lot more fun if you can stand…