Did you all see “Not-So-Personal Finance” in the New York Times this weekend? It’s a story about young people sharing their salary figures with each other — which has long been considered bad professional behavior — and the generational politics of openly discussing money and other traditionally private matters. The Times writer paints the issue, er, vividly: “As Ilana Arazie, 32, an online video producer for a media company in Manhattan, said, ‘If we can talk about how many orgasms we have with our mate, why can’t we discuss how much we make?’”

Now, for the record, you’re not likely to find me talking about how many orgasms I have with my mate anywhere ever (and certainly not in the Times), but I’ve often been told I’m conservative in this respect. And maybe that’s why I might find it strategically suspect — never mind just plain icky — to do compensation roundtables with friends. Or worse yet, to post salaries on Facebook, as the title of Times article’s web page — “Sharing Salary Figures on Facebook” — seems to suggest is happening. (The story itself doesn’t include an instance of this.) It’s one thing to share that number with very close friends or mentors, but with your whole happy-hour crew or Facebook universe? Not so much.

For those of you who aren’t yet furiously writing a comment, here’s why: If you’re a recent grad or working in an industry where early-career salaries are more or less set and/or public, it makes sense to try to get as much information as you can about what you’re worth, which often means giving specifics — such as what you’re being offered for a particular job.

But once you’ve been in a gig or in an industry for a while, salaries become an increasingly sensitive topic. Why? Because the friends you’re showing your paycheck to are often your colleagues. And if you’ve all been at your careers long enough, significant differences — in how you’re compensated, your job responsibilities, and even the level of respect you get from your superiors — are bound to emerge. Mishandle these, whether by inadvertently flaunting your own success or becoming jealous of someone else’s, and you’re in for some serious professional tension.

For instance, I have a journalism friend who is constantly coming up with cute ways to ask what I make, and judging from his/her eager expression, these inquiries aren’t made in the spirit of sharing. It’s competition, pure and simple, and while I adore this person, I’m pretty sure that if I shared the information s/he wants, we’d be the Lauren and Heidi of the friend group faster than you can say “TMI.”

Of course, I also have a colleague here at Fortune whose encouragement has been invaluable when it comes to asking for raises and whatnot. But we only talk numbers on a relatively vague, need-to-know basis. Keeping these chats hypothetical keeps us close and — in a positive sort of way — competitive, since we never quite know exactly where the other stands. (Don’t believe that the taboo still exists? Check out Fortune senior writer Annie Fisher’s latest column, “Tax rebates: A clue to co-workers’ salaries,” which is all about how to use rebate time to surreptitiously figure out what your coworkers make.)

But whatever my squeamishness, I did find the Times story’s generational explanations of this behavior amusing. As with so many things, it’s all about our childhoods. Salary.com chief compensation officer Bill Coleman cited Gen Yers’ affinity for teamwork as one reason why we might seek friends’ help to decipher salaries. And Barbara W. Keats, an associate professor of management at Arizona State University, says that our “relative lack of manners regarding salary can be traced to the self-esteem movement embraced by baby boomer parents.” As she puts it, “They’re special, and however they say things is very cute.”

It’s reductive, yes, but I don’t necessarily disagree. Many of us are still young enough that we haven’t yet had the chance to feel the backlash of revealing too much detail about our personal and professional lives. And it remains to be seen if there really will be one, or if corporate etiquette will adjust to us, the way that other corporate structures have. But regardless, it just seems to me that, in the average office, showing your economic hand can go either way — and the benefits don’t outweigh the consequences of oversharing, no matter how old you are.

But maybe I’m already too old to understand the rationale of these young movers and shakers. What about you?

Whether you’re applying for your first job, negotiating your first raise, or counseling newbie friends on how to handle theirs, compensation is always a hot topic with young workers. So in the interest of doing some good this holiday, we checked in with Jenny Floren, CEO of Web-based college recruiting platform Experience.com, for a little advice on navigating the crazy compensation process. A corporate survivor herself, Floren and crew first partnered with Fortune for this year’s Best Companies for Entry-level Employees package. And though she thinks some age-old problems, like the compensation gender gap, are fading into the past with Gen Y, Floren says we still have a thing or two to learn. So to that end, a few thoughts on getting a great job — and the salary to go with it.

• Get as much information as you can. Compensation for entry-level positions is usually based on  overall compensation structure, so to the extent that you can find out how a company sets its tiers, you’ll know what you’re in for in the long term. And that’s key, even when negotiating that first job. “Oftentimes, at the entry level, the flexibility might be limited, but they really leapfrog you when you take that next step up,” Floren says. “So getting an employer to explain how all of that works is ammunition for that next step up. Ask what it will take to get there, and consistently monitor where you are so that you can proactively manage it.”

• Start the conversation early. “Assume the offer you get is somewhere close to what they can offer,” says Floren. “The employer is not sandbagging you, trying to offend you, or saying you’re not worth $35 zillion by offering you $35,000. But it shows confidence and professionalism to come back.” Ask if there’s any flexibility, and when they ask what kind you’re looking for, come back with something reasonable, based upon your knowledge of your own situation and the industry in general. Floren recommends using available compensation services (salary.com, vault.com and her own experience.com), as well as widely available research and studies about industry norms to figure out where you should be and what’s reasonable to request.

• Ask, and you just might receive. Every company has a set way of handling compensation, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask what’s possible. And that goes for everything — raises, promotions, and feedback. “The harm is in being obnoxious, never asking, or not receiving the feedback that you need to learn and grow,” Floren says. And remember that compensation doesn’t just mean cash: Ask about flextime, vacation days, stock options or performance bonuses. “Do your best not to come across as demanding, but as someone who wants to be recognized for the fantastic contribution you want to make,” says Floren. And once you’ve started making that fantastic contribution, make sure someone’s paying attention by asking to be reviewed in six months or some other fixed, near-term time-frame. That feedback is the best way to keep the compensation conversation going.

• It’s all in the delivery. We hear it all the time: These kids all want to be CEO — tomorrow! And while it does sound like a somewhat unfair characterization, all those bosses couldn’t be completely wrong. “There’s a misconception among employers that Gen Yers have out-of-whack expectations,” Floren says. “But many times, what they’re asking for isn’t necessarily a huge raise or promotion, but that’s how they express it. And that’s perceived as impatience, as not valuing the learning process, and as devaluing all the people who’ve gone down this path already.” So before you get carried away telling your employer what you want, make sure that you’re giving them what they want, too. “Realize that your audience wants you to be successful, but they also want you to contribute, learn, not race through or overlook things, like the importance of those entry-level posts,” says Floren. “So go to the point of explicitly overemphasizing that you’re not trying to skip steps in the process or looking for a new job before getting the first one done. Show that you just want to do the best job possible and be leading the pack.”

• Talk, but not too much. Yers, says Floren, are known for their multitasking, but this can come across as flightiness in professional situations. Especially when we’re constantly talking about everything we’ve done, will do and want to do. Ever. “This can work against Yers because employers won’t consider them for opportunities that require focus and thoughtfulness,” Floren says. “Employers fear they won’t have the sticktoitiveness required to get the job done.” Instead, use your face-time with higher-ups to ask for guidance on how you can make more valuable contributions to the organization. Framed in those terms, your interests and the company’s seem aligned, which will encourage your superiors to look for opportunities for you, instead of opportunities to get rid of you.

• And remember, money isn’t everything. “Provided you can have a place to live and put food on the table, actual compensation would be at the bottom of my list for an entry-level position,” Floren says. “The things I’d look for at the beginning of a career are the growth opportunities, the training and skills you can acquire, the network you can build within the organization and with the customers you’re serving. The launching pad those will give you matter more than whether you’re making $30,000 or $60,000. It may seem like a 100 percent difference, but that 30k job in the long run could put you on a path that’s worth so much more than 30k a year.”

We’re going to be talking compensation for the next few days since this is the time many of us start to think about ‘08  raises — and, more importantly, how to ask for them. To begin, check out our new video, “Asking for your first raise.” (And before anyone says a word, I was channeling my inner librarian that day ;o).

Speaking of video, I  spent some time at a company event the other day where it seemed like everyone had watched our little off-the-cuff holiday party piece. And aside from the good-natured teasing, quite a few people asked if office holiday parties were really the right place to talk about work. I must confess that this made me smile; all anybody ever wants to talk about at these things is work. (Unless of course, they’re sauced, which is an entirely different problem.) So why not make it constructive, instead of the venting session that it usually turns out to be?

And let’s be clear, I’m not suggesting anyone accost the boss in the bathroom with a five-year plan and compensation demands. Only that, given that you’ll be spending a few hours at a work event with coworkers who will inevitably bring up work anyway, it might not be such a bad idea to have a few casual agenda items of your own.

As many an executive can attest, more real work — of the relationship-building, decision-making kind — gets done after-hours than in the office. And the holiday party is no different. At the very least, this way you’re far less likely to end up like some of the people in this recent MSNBC story, “Holiday parties hold peril for unwary workers.” Enough said.

On the road again talking some Gen Y smack, but wanted to float a few things past you while I have a few minutes.

First, have been meaning to bring up the recent Ask Bing, “I’m worth more than $28K a year,” and get your thoughts. If you haven’t read it, a recent college grad in the throes of a challenging job search wrote in to lament his situation: “Everyone wants experience but no one is willing to give it to me. Not to be arrogant I just genuinely believe that I am worth more than $28,000 a year.” Of course, Bing gives him a talking to and ultimately advises finding a job “that, in a way, you might just do for free,” to make waiting for that big payoff easier.

And he’s right. No matter where you come from and what your expectations are, the realities of the job market don’t really allow for huge salaries and major titles right away. But this is a common area of contention, for both recruiters and recruits. (Bing echoes the refrain of many put-upon recruiters when he says, ” “I can’t tell you how many people I interview these days who, having just gotten out of school, want a vice president title and bag of cash just for showing up.”) While I tend to agree with Bing’s assessment, it’s clear from your own comments on posts like “Money v. meaningful work, the battle continues” that there’s a bit of disagreement on this point.

For me, though, taking the “passion” gig isn’t just about following your heart or any other such hippie-dippy swill; the fact is that if you take a job you love, you’re far more likely to rock it. And that experience will help you get that bigger, better-paying job faster than holding out for what you think you deserve (i.e., filling out endless applications only to have recruiters collapse with laughter at the sight of your salary requirements). My first job didn’t pay much more than that $28,000, but what I learned at that scrappy startup made me a lot more attractive to future employers, and before too long I was able to afford both a shoebox in New York City and dinner.

So when young people stress about their meager paychecks, I say think of that first job not as an insult, but as a chance to prove that you actually are worth more than $28,000; it’ll make your first employer value you — and encourage the second to pay you accordingly.

On another note, thanks to Gig reader Sarah W. for passing along Virginia Heffernan’s hi-larious New York Times story, “Sweeping the Clouds Away,” about the recent release of the earliest episodes of Sesame Street, volumes 1 and 2 of which apparently “may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” If people think we Yers were coddled, heaven help us when today’s preschool child gets old enough for work.

Cookie Monster doesn’t even do his Alistair Cookie bit anymore, mostly because of the pipe. I’m not sure I want to live in a world without Alistair Cookie. But then, I have a friend who won’t even say the word “die” around his child, because he thinks that knowing things die will be too disturbing for her. (We still haven’t told him that, when her fish died, she said not to tell, because talking about dying was too sad for him.)

Anyone who’s read pre-Disney fairy tales knows that kids have been handling hardships much worse than dead fish for centuries. And that’s helped them to grow up — to take responsibility and fend for themselves. In that light, a little adversity mightn’t be such a bad thing for today’s sheltered youngsters. Which is not, obviously, to say that they — we — are all sheltered, or that they haven’t suffered in their own ways. It’s simply to point out that children born into privilege would probably turn out to be better people if they saw some of the other side growing up, be it with an afterschool job, a volunteering stint, or some of those old school episodes of Sesame Street.

And, lastly, check out our latest Gen Y web video if you haven’t already. Hope you like it, and in the meantime, pray for me; I’m in a hotel with no wireless, and it’s murder. (Cue the “spoiled brat” commentary from Yadgyu ;o).